


In Which Gossip, Boasting, and Confessions All Happen

by MadDub



Series: Typos and Miscommunication [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Chatlogs, Feelings, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Karkat is an Asshole, Moirails With Pails, Multi, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pesterlog, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-26
Updated: 2014-10-26
Packaged: 2018-02-21 13:06:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2469284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadDub/pseuds/MadDub
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <span class="karkat">CG:OH ***HELL*** NO YOU DON'T</span>
</p><p>    <span class="karkat">CG: THIS IS SOME SERIOUS SHIT AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.</span></p><p>      <span class="karkat">CG: SOMEONE MADE A SPECTACULARLY HARE-BRAINED MISTAKE AND I WANT TO KNOW WHO IT WAS AND WHAT THEY DID.</span></p><p>   <span class="terezi">GC: WHY 4R3 YOU B31NG SO NOS3Y? 1TS NON3 OF YOUR BUS1N3SS! </span></p><p>  <span class="karkat">CG: DON'T YOU PULL THAT SHIT ON ME.</span><br/> <br/><span class="karkat">CG: I HAVE GONE THROUGH TOO MUCH TO LET YOU SIT HERE AND SPOIL IN YOUR OWN SOURED MOOD.</span></p><p>  <span class="karkat">CG: AS OF RIGHT NOW I AM PLAYING TEMPORARY MOIRAIL SO SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND TELL YOUR FAKE DIAMOND WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN YOUR ADDLED PAN.</span></p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Gossip, Boasting, and Confessions All Happen

**Author's Note:**

> Not so much Johnkat in this one, but the next one will have a lot more of it! Probably, anyone. Seems kind of like this series is going to end up focusing on relationships and stuff. Oh well.  
> Anyway, a continuation was requested awhile ago and here is me weeks later, finally putting this out there. I'm going to try to also update Silence Never Set You Free soon, but I may not finish before November starts, and I was planning to do my own NaNoWriMo, so we'll see how that goes!

\--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]\--

TG: rose

TG: are you doing kanaya right now should i come back later 

TT: And what would you have done if I were too busy to answer you?

TG: i dunno

TG: pester you until you answered or i got bored i guess and then try jade

TT: Hmm.

TT: And what might I ask is so important that you feel the urgent need to message someone? Or is this yet another attempt to stave off boredom on your part?

TG: the first one

TG: or well i guess both of them 

TG: it doesnt matter because i have news to spread like the most faithful of honest messengers selflessly delivering papers and mail

TG: braving storms and angry dogs all for the thankless job of letting people in on whats going on in the chaotic world 

TT: You have peeked my curiousity.

TT: Feel free to end your metaphor any time now so I may hear the news you fervently wish to tell me.

TG: see now that was just rude

TT: Apologies. I didn't mean to pop your inflated ego.

TG: holy shit youre brutal

TG: go for the ass why dont you

TG: but for now i guess i can let this one slide on account of how fucking amazing things just got

TT: How so?

TG: okay okay

TG: so karkat and john logged off to have sex

TT: Hmm.

TG: no wait thats not that good part

TG: or well it might be good for them but who cares about them 

TG: are you watching me type lalonde because i need you to read real close here

TG: plaster your pretty face to the computer screen if you must but be sure to carefully look over my letters and repeat to yourself what im about to say to you okay

TG: john and karkat

TG: are 

TG: dating

TG: consider yourself twenty boonbucks poorer 

TT: Is that so?

TT: Tell me, Strider, when you say our two friends "are dating", do you mean this to be a development that happened recently?

TG: uh no

TG: maybe

TG: okay you know what fuck you rose why the hell do you have to ruin my game here

TT: What can I say? Ruining fun is my guilty pleasure.

TG: well maybe you should have that looked at

TG: or better yet look at it yourself

TG: do all that meditation bullshit and become one with nature and find inner peace

TG: and maybe possibly forgive your friends and allow them to keep their meager earnings

TT: I would hardly call a worlds-wide banking system of your caliber "meager earnings".

TT: If anything, my salary is much less than yours. I daresay that when comparing my savings to yours, I would be labeled as poor.

TG: probably

TG: fine you know what just take the money i dont care its not like i need it

TT: Your generous spirit is as impressive as always.

TG: hell yeah it is

TG: but anyway back to what i was saying

TG: egderp and buckat are dating or courting or whatever

TG: like officially

TG: and im pretty sure theyre red

TT: Obviously.

TT: Do you really think they could be any other quadrant?

TG: i dont know i thought they might work pale

TT: Except for the small fact that Karkat and John have been lusting for one another for a rather long time, yes.

TG: but wait

TG: didnt you say moirails could fuck

TG: wasnt that a thing that was said

TT: It depends on the troll, but as far as I know, moirails usually are not comfortable pailing.

TT: It can confuse the senses as the flushed quadrant or matespriteship and moiraillaigance are so extremely similar. For many, the only dividing line between the two is sex or a more intense for of romance.

TG: so

TG: hypothetically speaking here

TG: because terezi and i are pale we could technically and stay in the quadrant

TG: with no hard feelings or anything changed

TT: It is a possibility, but unfortunately, I don't know Terezi well enough to inform you of whether she might like the idea or not.

TT: Do you want to have sex with Terezi, Dave?

TG: what no of course not

TG: i was just curious is all i said it was a hypothetical question didnt i

TT: Mm.

TT: Interesting.

TT: So did you only message to communicate the predictable bloom of Karkat and John's relationship or should I expect more?

TG: nah that was all i had to say

TT: I was hoping you would say that.

TG: why

TT: Because as it so happens, I am being called for a private discussion that requires my full attention.

TT: If you have nothing more you wish to divulge, then I feel no guilt at having to leave you now. Do feel free to tell Jade the news of our friends. I'm sure she would love to hear it.

TT: Good day, Strider.

TG: way to make a guy feel used

TG: listen to my dirty little secrets and leave

TG: yeah i see how it is 

TT: Oh good. I would have hated to waste my breath explaining it all to you. 

TG: ouch

TG: damn you really do go for the jugular dont you

TT: It's a talent.

TT: I'm sure Karkat would happily school you if you ever wished to learn the ancient art of verbal assault.

TG: thanks but no thanks ive had enough assaults for one day already

TT: I'll bet.

TT: Goodbye, Dave.

TG: bye

\--tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]\-- 

TG: i wonder if terezi is online

TG: better yet i wonder if shes horny i mean she cant have gotten laid since the clown

TG: this deserves investigation

 

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCaliberator [GC]\--

CG: HEY

CG: GUESS WHO FINALLY GOT A MATESPRIT? NOT DAVE FUCKING STRIDER, THAT'S WHO.

GC: C4N YOU PL34S3 NOT?

GC: 1M K1ND OF 1N TH3 M1DDL3 OF SOM3TH1NG.

CG: OH.

CG: SORRY ABOUT THAT.

CG: SHOULD I GO?

GC: NO, 1TS F1N3.

GC: 1 JUST DONT KNOW WH4T TO DO 4NYMOR3.

CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 

CG: FUCK, WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS? WHERE'S THAT SHITHEAD STRIDER WHEN YOU NEED HIM?

CG: ISN'T THIS HIS JOB?

GC: 1 DONT R34LLY W4NT TO T4LK TO H1M R1GHT NOW.

CG: WHAT?

CG: ARE YOU TWO ACTUALLY *FIGHTING*?

CG: I THOUGHT THAT WAS IMPOSSIBLE. THE TWO OF YOU HAVE ACTED LIKE COMPLETE ASSHOLES TO EACH OTHER FOR YEARS AND THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THERE'S BEEN EVEN THE SMALLEST BLIP IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

CG: THE FUCK DID YOU TWO DO?

GC: 1 DONT W4NT TO T4LK 4BOUT 1T.

CG: OH ***HELL*** NO YOU DON'T

CG: THIS IS SOME SERIOUS SHIT AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

CG: SOMEONE MADE A SPECTACULARLY HARE-BRAINED MISTAKE AND I WANT TO KNOW WHO IT WAS AND WHAT THEY DID.

GC: WHY 4R3 YOU B31NG SO NOS3Y? 1TS NON3 OF YOUR BUS1N3SS!

CG: DON'T YOU PULL THAT SHIT ON ME.

CG: I HAVE GONE THROUGH TOO MUCH TO LET YOU SIT HERE AND SPOIL IN YOUR OWN SOURED MOOD.

CG: AS OF RIGHT NOW I AM PLAYING TEMPORARY MOIRAIL SO SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND TELL YOUR FAKE DIAMOND WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN YOUR ADDLED PAN.

GC: 1M NOT GO1NG TO CH34T ON D4V3 W1TH YOU!

CG: SO YOU WOULD CHEAT ON HIM WITH SOMEONE ELSE, HUH?

GC: OH MY GOG

CG: FINE. I SEE HOW IT IS.

CG: WHO IS IT YOU'RE LOOKING AT? IS IT THAT BASTARD SOLLUX? I BET IT IS, THAT FUCKER GETS ALL THE QUADRANTS.

GC: 1TS NOT SOLLUX

GC: 1M NOT CRUSH1NG ON 4NYON3. D4V3 4ND 1 4R3 F1N3 FOR TH3 MOST P4RT.

CG: OH REALLY.

CG: THEN WHY ARE YOU MOPING LIKE A WRIGGERLESS LUSUS?

GC: W3 GOT 1NTO 4 D1S4GR33M3NT, OK4Y?

GC: 1S TH4T WH4T YOU W4NT3D TO H34R? DO YOU W4NT M3 TO T3LL YOU 4LL 4BOUT MY OWN F41LUR3 TO COMMUN1C4T3 WH4T 1 W4NT OUT OF MY R3L4T1ONSH1P TO MY MO1R41L?

GC: WOULD YOU L1K3 M3 TO R3L1V3 TH3 T4L3 OF MY OWN SCR3W UP W1TH MY V3RY P4TRON?

CG: HOLY BULGEMUNCHING SHIT.

CG: *YOU* CAUSED ALL THE PROBLEMS? WHAT DID YOU DO?

GC: 1 SL3PT W1TH H1M.

CG: O:B

GC: Y34H, 1 KNOW, PR3TTY STUP1D ON MY P4RT.

GC: 1 DOUBT H3 KNOWS 4NY B3TT3R, 4ND 1 ST1LL H4V3NT TOLD H1M 4NYTH1NG 1S WRONG.

CG: WHY NOT? 

CG: HAVE YOU FAILED TO NOTICE HOW PAN DEAD THESE HUMANS ARE? THEY CAN'T FIND THE ANSWERS IF YOU POINT A BRIGHT FUCKING SPOTLIGHT AT THE SOLUTION THEY SEEK.

CG: THEY NEED CONSTANT CARE AND GUIDANCE LIKE A GROUP OF NEWLY-HATCHED GRUBS OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WILD FEILDS OF ALTERNIA. WE ARE THEIR LUSII. OR I GUESS TEMPORARY LUSII? 

CG: ANYWAY MY POINT IS THEY ARE ALL A BUNCH OF MENTALLY CHALLENGED MORONS AND WON'T UNDERSTAND JACK SHIT UNLESS YOU BLUNTLY TELL THEM.

GC: 1 DONT KNOW.

GC: 1 F33L W31RD NOW TH4T W3 P41L3D

GC: L1K3 HOW C4N W3 B3 PROP3R D14MONDS 1F W3 H3LP3D 34CH OTH3R PRODUC3 G3N3T1C M4T3R14l?

CG: BEATS ME.

GC: 4R3NT YOU SUPPOS3D TO B3 H3LP1NG?

CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

CG: ROMANCE DOESN'T HAVE ANY SET OF LAWS OF STRICT CODE THAT HAS TO BE FOLLOWED. THERE'S NO UNIVERSAL RULE FOR WHO AND WHY YOU CRUSH ON SOMEONE, WHETHER IT BE RED, PALE, BLACK, OR ASHEN.

CG: THE ONLY RULES HERE ARE THE ONES YOU MAKE FOR YOURSELF. SO I DON'T HAVE YOUR ANSWER HERE.

CG: THE REAL QUESTION IS, WHAT DO *YOU* THINK YOU SHOULD DO?

GC: 1 DONT KNOW.

GC: 1 DONT KNOW.

GC: 1 DONT TH1NK 1 C4N B3 MO1R41LS W1TH SOM3ON3 1 P41L3D.

CG: OKAY

CG: THEN THERE'S YOUR ANSWER.

GC: BUT 1 ST1LL C4R3 4BOUT H1M.

GC: 1 DONT W4NT TO HURT H1S F33L1NGS.

CG: UM

CG: NOT TO SOUND LIKE MORE OF A TOOL THAN NORMAL, BUT

CG: DO YOU PITY HIM?

CG: FLUSHED PITY?

GC: 1 TOLD YOU, 1 DONT KNOW!

GC: 1 JUST DONT KNOW!

CG: WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD FIGURE THAT OUT BEFORE YOU TALK TO HIM.

CG: OR TALK TO HIM ANYWAY

CG: THOUGH I DON'T SUGGEST IT AT ALL

GC: 1 TH1NK 1 N33D SOM3 T1M3 TO TH1NK 4BOUT TH1S.

CG: THEN GO DO IT.

CG: TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED.

GC: TH4NK YOU, K4RKL3S.

CG: DON'T CALL ME THAT.

\--gallowsCaliberator [GC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]\--

CG: . . . YOU'RE WELCOME.

CG: AND THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO MY LOVESTRUCK CONFESSION ABOUT MY NEW HEART YOU SELFISH DOUCHEPUDDLE.

CG: THAT WAS SARCASM IN CASE YOU COULDN'T SMELL IT.

******  
  
**


End file.
